Speaking to Nelly was like talking to an old friend. She was open, bubbly and talked a mile a minute. We’d agreed to speak for an hour but an hour and thirty minutes later we were still going. I’d lost track of time as we nattered away about her life and my own. Is there still irritation bubbling beneath the surface? Yes, but she’s open about it. She feels her experience was robbed by a man who wasn’t genuine. But she’s healing, she’s learned to recognise the red flags and she’s hopeful for the future. For some of us, watching Nelly go from her portrayal as insecure and “needy” to the confident, no nonsense haver of receipts and giver of bad bitch energy – was inspiring. We were sat at home on our respective sofa’s shouting, “Yes Nelly” at the screen. It was a memorable moment of triumph amidst some of the heavy and triggering themes raised in this year’s show.

How did you feel about the name Needy Nelly?

I was annoyed with the Needy Nelly one, I thought wait ‘til you see it. Steven was getting happy about it and I’m like, Bro I wouldn’t get happy if I was you, relax enjoy your two weeks of less hate because it’s about to come tenfold. My entire personality on the show was insecurity and being cheated on. I was like this is bullshit. Am I a little bit insecure? Yes of course I am, some people have insecurities. I don’t think that’s an issue. People kept saying, “why did she come on the show?” I thought I was healed when I walked in!

And then you had the flags. My friend sent it to me I was like oh my god. You gave me that red flag, I was raging but then you changed it back, so it was alright. My main challenge there was, obviously you have the intuition. I remember asking him at the retreat, do you really like me? I’m not going to war with Julia-Ruth for a marriage you’re done with. Before the commitment ceremonies I’d ask, to have an open and honest convo. If you’re not feeling it – tell me, we’re a team. I never want anyone to feel blindsided by it. Towards the end I’d say I feel like you don’t like me and every time he started getting defensive and annoyed. He’d say, “Why would I be away from the kids if I didn’t see a future with you”. After partner swap, Ash and Bailey were like, “you’re not overthinking it you’re just thinking”. That’s when I said its blindingly obvious you don’t like me just say it.

At the retreat i said to him, if you don’t fix up, let’s just leave now. HE was begging me to stay and then he put “stay for now”. Mate, you just snogged me before we went into that. But I was telling you that I was ready to leave if you don’t get your shit together. So many games.

What did you think of the nickname ASBO Steve?

Hilarious. Correct. Someone actually messaged me saying I used to go to school with Steve and he was a couple years above or below them, he was exactly the same way at school as well. Always swearing, kicking off, disrespecting teachers. When my friend showed me his LinkedIn profile, it said he’s an investment banker, he’s not you need a degree for that. He was a team leader taking calls. There’s nothing wrong with that, just be honest.

What was the first red flag for you?

First flag, when he didn’t come home when I’d hurt myself. On the outside I would have blocked and deleted. He was saying this isn’t me I’m going through something, so I was empathetic, I was understanding. I tried to see the good in him, this is only a couple bad days, we’ve had the most amazing few weeks so far. After that was in laws week, we were getting there, we weren’t arguing but we were trying. It wasn’t aired but Paul said he was gaslighting, me that’s when I clocked. At the retreat, he was sticking up for Julia-Ruth, and I was like you stuck up for her and not me. He said he didn’t, he stuck up for Divarni. He was so adamant about his lies. Taking the cup away from me was just to humiliate me on camera. I was like how dare you try to humiliate me? He said he was standing up for Divarni and I was getting obsessed with Julia-Ruth. I thought I was going insane.

How did you feel watching the show back?

Watching the big day out I cried for a couple of days, you do go through the emotions again when the shows on. They give you a warning before the episode, so you’re prepared. I remember watching the wedding day and feeling so sad, sad because I felt my experience had been robbed and watching the younger me who had no idea what she was walking in to.

If you could go back and stop the younger you from going through with it, would you?

I would do it all again, even knowing my journey would be as awful as it was. It reminded me how resilient I am, when people treat you badly it’s a reflection on them not on you. My work colleagues watching me at the reunion were like Nelly this is always you, the way I handled the reunion and dinner party is the vim I would have for anybody, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it to him. I trust myself, my intuition, back yourself. Even when my friends are arguing with their partners now, I’m like, “ooooh that’s deflection.” I have that confidence now, I know I can call it. I’d rather be single than be with someone who makes me feel that way.

Do you think the experts should hold people more accountable for their bad behaviour?

They leave stuff out if it’s a label that could be damaging to someone. Sometimes they held them to account and it was shown, sometimes it didn’t make the edit.

Do you think it should make the edit?

At first I thought it was fine, we all know what was said. Sometimes I’d get frustrated because it would really show and highlight to the audience what is going on. But some things can’t be used because its damaging, I get it from the welfare perspective.

Do you think the editing was fair?

Some things Steven said were a lot worse than what was shown. For example, final reunion commitment ceremony – Bex and Leah were raging when steven was denying hinge. I even whipped out the T&Cs from my boobs about how you get verified. I whipped it out from my tits. He swore on his kids’ lives that he wouldn’t lie about it and it was a lie. At the reunion “Bex was like you swore on your kids’ lives that you did not do this” and then he kicked off at Bex going, “you can say what you want but don’t bring my kids into it” and he was the one who brought them into it in the first place. That for me shows how sick this person is that they would go to these lengths to convince everyone.

What happened with Hinge?

Everyone was so confused. His brother was saying production set it up, they were saying my friend generated it with AI. No-one cares about you enough to do this Steven, once the episode came out, he deleted that post from his Insta about Hinge. He knew he was lying when he made that post.

What did you make of the Grace and Ash situation?

All I will say is, all of us love Grace. She’s a good person, I just feel like she’s had a really bad time.

What has been one of the positives about this experience?

Women saying to me “you’ve given me strength to leave my relationship…. you’ve given me the strength to have this conversation with my partner.” I never expected it to touch so many people’s lives. I love to empower women. I want to help women. I want to be that voice.

What’s next for you?

My plans are to throw myself back into Dentistry, it’s my career, I’d never get rid of it. Eventually open my own clinic. I’d love to use my platform to empower women, especial being a mid-sized South Asian girl. I’d love to do more to help people.