After watching the most recent UK edition of MAFS, I thought I’d witnessed the full spectrum of ridiculous human behaviours – but then MAFS Australia entered the chat. Usually, the first episode is pretty tame, boring even. While we wait for the niceties to turn to brutal honesty and the “getting to know you” to turn into, “I can’t stand you”, there is usually a calm before the storm. MAFS Season 12 got stuck right into the drama, showing us from the offset that the storm had already begun, that it was in fact brewing before the series even started.

It wasn’t long before we were treated to our first villain, namely Eliot with his 1920s views on women and his “treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen”, tate-esque philosophy. Advising the other Bros not to be too “over caring” because that would most certainly give women the dreaded ick. Because nothing says icky like a man who actually cares about your feelings, right?

But what is a villain without a villainess? In a stroke of genius, the MAFS experts paired Eliot with what should have been his ideal woman – a self-professed 1950s housewife who wants nothing more than to “please her man” and be the “wifeyist” wife she can be. They’re already part way to Stepford heaven, I can’t see how anything could possibly go wrong….apart from the fact they’re both insufferable.

In one of the biggest shocks of the episode, we all watched in anticipation as Paul and Carina were wed, assuming they’d be one of the best matches, having both come across as genuine and nice people. Only to be blindsided by the fact they already knew each other. Crazy! Hearing the bride ask if there was anyone else, like she’d received a damaged package in Argos and wanted them to check round the back was a real highlight for me. Comedy gold.

You would think one couple having already dated and the other having travelled to the show from the 1930’s, the rest of the episode would have been pretty chill. But then we hadn’t factored in the bombshell that is Tamara. And I don’t mean Bombshell in the Love Island way, I mean it in the “came out of nowhere and decimated the proceedings” kind of way. She was a whirlwind of entitlement, jealousy and main character syndrome. If this had of been a real wedding I’m hoping someone would have elbowed her into the nearest Pescatarian restaurant and left her there.

Based on the little we’ve already seen, I can imagine this series is going to be a wild one and I love that for us!

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