Mr D**k Pic hopped out of bed filled with excitement. Today was a beautiful day but then every day was a beautiful day for Mr D**k Pic. Every day was another opportunity to show the world the appendage that dangled so proudly between his thighs, his most prized and meaningful possession.

Mr D**k Pic adjusted his boxers to conceal the growing number of holes and arranged his mediocre member so it was visible atop his unruly nest of pubic hairs, picking loose the crumbs that seemed to always gather there. Next, Mr D**k Pic began the enjoyable task of fluffing, which was often required to elevate his Chipolata to its full Saveloy potential. When he was done with his handy ritual, Mr D**k Pic looked down at the results in awe, mesmerised by the beauty of his own genitalia.

Mr D**K Pic angled the lamp he kept beside the bed to spotlight his crown jewels and retrieved his phone from the bedside table. After ensuring the angles were flattering and the lighting was just right, he snapped away, taking shot after shot in different positions, until he was content with the artistic masterpieces he had captured.

Now usually, Mr D**k Pic would eat breakfast before sending out his headshots but today was an extra special day. Today was Mr D**k Pics birthday and he intended to celebrate from morning ‘til night in the only way he knew how – by sharing his glorious tallywacker with the women of the world.

Mr D**k Pic opened his social media apps and perused the pages of the women he saw there, searching for the ideal recipient of his glory. Each time he found a potential candidate, he felt the familiar tingle of excitement. Just knowing that the woman of his choosing would have the opportunity to see him laid bare made him feel important. Mr D**k Pic didn’t care if the interactions went no further, he was content with being able to look at their photos and know that he had been seen. This was his his gift to the world.

By lunchtime, after imposing himself on the inboxes of numerous unsuspecting women, his Cocktail Wiener growing firmer as he did so, Mr D**k Pic was ready to up the ante. After all, it was his Birthday. Mr D**k pic removed his holey undercrackers and recovered the thin blue and white candle he’d bought the previous day. Smiling, he set his camera to record, carefully inserted the candle into the end of his bell and clicked down on his disposable lighter, setting the wick aflame. He sang a single verse of Happy Birthday before taking a breath and preparing to blow out his candle.

Before he had the chance to exhale, Mr D**k Pic realised his mistake but by then it was far too late. A burning sensation crept across his nether regions, turning his hardware to software as the candle began to melt. Attempting to retrieve the melting slither of molten wax did not go well for Mr D**k Pic, luckily, he was prepared to suffer for his art. After all, it was his calling.

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